


anything but him

by wellyesbutactuallyno



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Homophobic Slurs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Pennywise (IT) Being an Asshole, Pennywise (IT) is His Own Warning, Poly Losers if You Squint, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Streddie if You Squint, accepting losers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23012371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellyesbutactuallyno/pseuds/wellyesbutactuallyno
Summary: As Richie and the rest of the Loser face off against Pennywise, Richie reveals that he's willing to risk all in order to save his friends.He just wasn't expecting the fucker to out him.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Ben Hanscom/Eddie Kaspbrak/Beverly Marsh/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 11
Kudos: 241





	anything but him

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! 
> 
> So...this is my first fic on this website, so please be nice to me :)  
> I am currently so so obsessed with the IT fandom and I've come up with so many prompts it's ridiculous.  
> You might recognize this dialogue from Twilight lol. 
> 
> If you're feeling generous, please consider buying me a coffee!! I would really appreciate it :)  
> Also my commissions are currently open if anyone really likes my writing. 
> 
> Please check the tags for warnings! 
> 
> Please enjoy and let me know what you think <3

Things went wrong the moment they got separated.

They were supposed to be together, following Bill deeper into the sewer tunnels, wandering closer and closer to that fucking murderous crazy clown. Closer and closer to the...thing that murdered Georgie and Betty, and who else knows. Closer to the nightmare that haunted them all. He notices quickly that something's wrong.

Stan is gone.

Richie’s the first to notice, immediately calling out to the others, “Where’s Stan?!” Eddie meets his gaze, his eyes slightly crazed, it reminded him of something.

_It was gone, the stupid fucking clown was gone, and in it’s wake It left Eddie with a broken fucking arm, Ben bleeding from his stomach. Richie reached down, wanting to help him desperately, make the pain stop, oh God Eddie was almost crying, how could he let this happen? Fuck please, anything but Eddie, please not Eddie please, God what could he do?_

_“I’m gonna set your arm.” That should do something right? Better to set it now and get the pain over with? Oh fuck, what was he doing, what was he doing?_

_“Don’t you fucking touch me, Richie! Don’t fucking touch me!”_

_A sickening crack and a loud scream, and his best friend was suddenly being dragged away by Sonia, screaming at the Losers for getting her son hurt, Eddie trying to protest that he was fine, trying to make her see that it wasn’t the Loser’s faults._

_Not like she’d believe them._

_Sonia drove away quickly, recklessly turning the corner, all while Eddie stared forward, leaving the Loser’s with the aftermath of the horror._

_Richie felt his heart leave with him._

“Stan?! Stan, where are you? Stan!”

The Losers swept through the sewers, running through the shitty greywater, dodging rusted pipes, and sewer grates that Richie accidentally cuts his shoulder on. He hisses slightly, ignoring the pain and the new rip in his ugly Hawaiian print shirt, his calls for his friend only becoming more and more frantic as they heard him scream. It’s a strange time to feel relief, but that’s exactly what he feels when they finally find the blocked door barricading their friend, the six of them forcing their way in only to see that.

_“...Or the woman I keep seeing.”_

_“Is she hot?”_

_“No, Richie, she’s not hot! Her face is all messed up!”_

_They were going around, listing what they were seeing, what they were afraid of, trying to make some fucking sense as to what had been going on._

_“Everyone’s afraid of something.”_

_“You got that right.”_

_Eddie looked over at him, eyes narrowing slightly as he expected a joke for an answer. “Why, Richie? What are you afraid of?”_

_Richie felt the air leave his lungs, looking behind himself to hide his panicked expression. His eyes landed on the first thing that stood out. He turned back, quickly adjusting his glasses._

_“C-Clowns,” He lied._

I KNOW YOUR SECRET, YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

Stan was lying on the floor, twitching. The woman kneeling above him as it oh God what was it doing? The commotion the Losers caused made It look up pulling off of Stan who gasped for air. They could only watch in horror as it began to back away, ducking around a corner only to reveal itself as the stupid FUCKING clown before disappearing again.

“Stan!” They all run to him as he screams, sitting up as blood ran down his face.

“You left me! You’re not my friends!”

Richie could only hold him and cry, finding himself speechless once again as they all attempted to console him, apologizing over and over again and helping him up. How did Stan even get separated in the first place? How did he not notice? What kind of a friend was he? Why couldn't he save him? That thing just almost fucking killed Stan, right from under their noses.

From there, it only got worse.

By the time they made it to Beverly, Richie was trembling in fear. He kept making stupid remarks, watching as Ben kissed Bev in order to bring her back from whatever the fuck was making her float above the ground, mouth open, her eyes a glazed, glassy white.

He couldn’t stop looking at Eddie, his eyes wandering over every couple of seconds. His skin crawled, itching to reach for him, to hold him close and never let him go.

And then It appeared.

The battle went by in a flash, his friend’s various fears all appearing as they attempted to defeat it. He watched in horror as It transformed into a burning door, melting hands pushing out of it as the people inside screamed for Mike’s help. Mike blanched, closing his eyes and whimpering that it wasn’t real. Bill attempted to save him, throwing his flashlight at him as It changed to...oh holy fuck...Georgie.

Georgie looked just as innocent as ever, his bright yellow raincoat a major contrast to the dark dreary underground of the sewer. He looked just as light he always had. Young, sweet, innocent.

Except this Georgie was missing a fucking arm.

The Georgie imposter wobbled toward Bill, whimpering as it cried, sobbing softly. “Why’d you let me go alone, Bill? Why’d you let me die…?”

Eddie leaned forward, screaming at Bill. “Don’t listen to it, Bill! It’s not fucking real!”

Oh God, Eddie. Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?

Richie glanced around frantically, trying to find something he could use as a weapon. He ran towards the pile of toys, bikes and other miscellaneous things, pulling a baseball bat from the enormous stack. He caught a glimpse of what looked to be a clown trailer of some kind. It read Pennywise the Dancing Clown in bright bold letters.

By the time he turned back to the Losers, his heart fall to his stomach, his hands shaking harshly as he realized that the clown was holding Eddie by the throat.

He felt his entire body freeze, as if time was going in slow motion. Every inch of his body screamed, desperate to get to Eddie, to save him, but too afraid to move, petrified with fear that Eddie, his Eddie was about to die.

The Loser’s charged at Pennywise, trying to attack it so it’d let Eddie go, but it simply blasted them back with whatever stupid powers it had. It’s ugly hands rearing back as it went to deliver the final blow and no please god NOT EDDIE PLEASE _ANYTHING BUT HIM_

“No, please _please_!!”

The fear in Richie’s voice was enough to make It turn around, it’s face twisting into a crooked ugly smile as it’s hold on Eddie slowly loosened. Richie threw his bat down on the floor, panting softly as he looked directly at it, trying to show he was defenseless, that he wouldn’t fight back.

“Kill me, _kill me!_ Not him.”

The reaction was imminent, spreading around the room as the Losers screamed their disagreement. Wails bouncing off the walls of the cistern as Richie stared death in the face.

Pennywise smiled, crooked and deep, dropping Eddie thank god as it raced toward him.

Richie could only watch Eddie, watching as the smaller boy choked a couple of times, coughing over and over as he reached for his inhaler and took a couple puffs before looking up, his eyes meeting Richie’s before he screamed. “Richie!”

Oh right.

Richie looked up, only to come face to face with It, panting, drooling as it practically shook with anticipation.

“Richie, Richie, Richie...Of course you’d stay with me for Eddie.”

_Oh God, please no. Please just kill me. Please don’t say it, please just let me die-_

“Should I tell them, Richie?”

_No, no, no no no no no no, this isn’t real, this isn’t real, it’s just another stupid nightmare._

“Should I tell them all that you’re a dirty little _faggot_? A dirty little fairy who loves boys?” It’s voice seemed to get deeper, darker and he shrank in fear as the anger in its voice caused him to tremble.

Richie couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t fucking breathe. He clamped his hands over his ears, trying to block out it’s voice as it continued, slowly circling Richie as it sang that stupid fucking song again.

“THEY KNOW YOUR SECRET, YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET---”

Richie could only let out a sob as his body hit the ground, his knees making a horrid noise as they hit the shitty sewer floor, covering his head as it only got closer and closer and closer.

“Fuck you!”

Richie looked up through the crook of his arm as he saw Beverly charging the clown, stabbing it with a pole of some kind. It cried out, twitching rapidly as it started to transform into Beverly’s father, but it couldn’t get too far as Ben screamed, picking up the baseball bat Richie had thrown as he swung the bat, connecting harshly with its head.

The Loser’s, minus Richie, all charged, using whatever they could get their hands on to attack It, kicking and shouting and yelling. Richie couldn’t help but feel hope. Was this...them defending him? Did they...did they not care about him being gay? Were they okay with it?

_Stop being a fucking pussy and help them, Trashmouth!_

Richie shook himself out of his thoughts, quickly standing up and grabbing the baseball bat from him, running to Pennywise before striking him over and over with the bat, screaming, “Welcome to the Loser’s Club, asshole!”

Pennywise let out a gurgle, falling flat on it’s back as it began scampering away, pushing itself closer and closer to a major drain of some sort. It spat out nonsense, repeatedly whimpering before it flipped itself up and over the drain, hanging from it. It’s forehead slowly came apart, peeling in a twisted manor before letting go, falling down the drain, taking their fears with it.

Well, every fear except one.

Richie was still crying, panting as he attempted to catch his breath as he lifted his glasses up to wipe at his wet eyes, dropping the baseball bat as he rubbed his face, desperate to wipe the proof of what had just happened from existence.

Eddie was the first to break the silence, and Richie could practically _feel_ the pity in his voice. “Richie…”

Nope. No. Absolutely not. Fuck that. Fuck that so fucking much.

He shook his head, moving his hands and fixing his glasses so he could look at the Loser’s, opening his mouth to crack a joke.

Nothing came out.

Richie felt his face twist, pressing his lips together to hold back a sob, turning away from them before taking off running.

“Richie! Richie _stop_!”

“Richie, come back! What if it’s not gone?!”

“Richie, no--Richie! _Richie_!!”

Richie ignored them, ignored the splashing behind him as he heard the other’s chasing after him, ignored everything other than the fact that they know. They all know now.

He scrambled through the sewers, practically throwing himself into the pipes as he crawled through them, his breaths coming in sharp inhales as he finally reached the rope back up into the well. He grabbed it tightly, looking up before quickly gripping it, using what strength he had left to climb back up into the crackhead house, busting through the front door as he gasped for fresh air, collapsing onto his knees again. He only gave himself a second before pushing himself up, tumbling as he stood again, running for his bike. He quickly swung his leg over the side, pushing himself forward as he rode as fast as his shaking legs could, tears still streaming down his face as he rode to the end of the street, disappearing around the corner.

The rest of the Loser’s made it out of the house merely seconds behind him, but that was enough for Richie to be long gone. Eddie heaved slightly, trying to catch his breath before bringing his hands up, running them through his hair, panic filling every pore in his body. “Where’d he go?! Where the _fuck_ did he go?!”

Bill shook his head, breathing heavily as he put his hands on his knees. “I-I-I don’t k-k-know! W-W-We should split up, f-f-find him!”

Stan glared at him, wiping the blood from his face. “Split up?! What if that thing is still out there? It’ll kill us!”

Eddie let out a frustrated groan, chopping the air with his hand. “Which is exactly why Richie shouldn’t be alone!” He shook his head angrily before running to his bike, picking it up and getting on it. “You can sit here and fight about it, but I’m going to find him!”

Beverly sat up from where she had collapsed on the ground, rubbing her hands on her dress. “I’m going with you.” She said, ignoring the various calls of disagreements, looking at them. “Don’t you guys understand? It was using our worst fears against us. Richie’s worst fear wasn’t _clowns_ it was-”

Ben stepped up, a revelation coming over his face. “It was us...finding out he was gay. That’s why It called Richie all those names.” Bev nodded, gesturing to the rest of them before Eddie spoke up again. “Which is exactly why we should go find him already! He’s probably sitting there, thinking we hate him or something because he was just outed by a fucking murder clown!” Eddie was red in the face by the time he finished, gripping his handlebar tightly with one arm, holding his casted one to his chest. “So can we please stop arguing and go find him already?!”

Mike nodded, pulling his hands away from his head. “He’s right. Richie’s our friend, who he likes doesn’t make a difference. We need to find him, and tell him that. If that truly was his worst fear…”

Stan looked up, horror dawning on his face as he came to the same conclusion as Mike. “...then he’s more vulnerable to that thing now, more than ever. Right? Bill said It couldn’t kill Bev because she wasn’t afraid of him...but this is Richie’s worst fear which means he’s probably terrified, and oh _fuck_ , we need to go find him! Now!”

The horrifying revelation got the rest of the Loser’s club in gear, each of them grabbing their bikes before taking off down the street, talking over each other as they tried to figure out where Richie would go.

Eddie ignored them, a mantra of _please not Richie, please let it be dead, please_ playing over and over in his head. They all spoke over each other, ignoring the creaky sounds of their rusted bike chains before coming to a consensus. They’ll split up, but no one goes alone. Bill and Mike veer off to check the Tozier house. Ben and Beverly head over to the arcade, seeing if he headed there. Eddie and Stan head towards the quarry.

Eddie pedaled until his calves burned, gripping the handlebars tightly with his arm, his casted one pressed up against his chest. His thoughts flew by frantically, trying to figure out where Richie would go.

He slammed on his breaks as they passed by the dirt trail that led through the woods. Stan stopped a few feet ahead of him before their eyes met, nodding to each other as they rode down the trail with newfound speed. The clubhouse.

___

Richie sat at the edge of the hammock, wiping his eyes as he swung back and forth, his glasses abandoned a few feet away from where he tore them off his face.

His shoulder was still bleeding from the pipe, he’s knees were bruised all to hell, and he fucked up his ankle when he was rushing to get out of the sewers. Other than that, he was fine. Well, Physically, anyway.

The silence was too loud, thrumming in his ears, the only other sound coming from him was the occasional hiccup and sniffle, from how hard he had been crying. The only other time he had cried like this was when Bill had hit him. And when Henry had harassed him out of the arcade after Conner had practically outed him.

God. Fuck the Bowers.

Richie took a deep, quivering breath, trying to stop himself from heaving another sob. From above him, the entrance to the club house swung open, the wood slamming against the ground, the noise making Richie jump about a foot into the air. Eddie came sliding down the ladder, eyes wide, almost feral as he finally spotted Richie. Stan came down after him, his face contorting as he sighed deeply in relief, his shoulders sagging forward.

For a moment, everything was quiet, except for the small sniffles and Eddie and Stan’s heavy breathing.

“Richie…” Stan started softly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Trashmouth?” Eddie yelled, his jaw clenching in anger.

Richie winced. He’d always known Eddie would be disgusted by him once he knew. Eddie especially. From all the shit he was always spouting out about HIV and STDs, he’d never wanna touch Richie again.

“Eddie! How could you say---” Stan cut in, Eddie yelling over him so he could continue.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Richie? How could you just run off like that? What if that stupid clown wasn’t dead, huh? What then? We’d catch up to you, only to find you floating twelve feet in the air like Bev? Or maybe we’d find you in a fucking ditch, with that clown fucking eating you or something? For fucks sake, Richie, how stupid can you be?!” Eddie’s anger slowly began to diminish as he realized Richie was crying, his furrowed eyebrows turning up as his eyes widened in concern. “Shit, Rich…”

Stan made a face before walking towards Richie, sitting on the hammock and wrapping his arms around him, leaning his chin on his shoulder. “You scared us, Richie.” He said softly, reaching up to cup his face and wipe his tears. “You really scared us.”

Richie couldn’t help but lean into his touch, closing his eyes. “...M’ sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you...”

Eddie felt his stomach twist slightly before stepping forward, kicking his glasses a few inches forward before leaning down, picking them up and walking towards them, sitting on the other side of Richie as he started cleaning his glasses on his shirt.

“...Is it true, Rich? What It said?”

Richie inhaled sharply, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Richie finally answered.

“Yeah. I’m gay. I like boys.”

He waited for the repulse, the disgust. For his friends to pull away and leave him to cry alone in the clubhouse.

Instead, Eddie leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist, his head leaning against his shoulder as he shook his head. “We could never hate you for something like that, Richie.”

Richie felt what little resolve he had left crumble as he broke down into sobs, his friends hugging him tightly as he cried.

They still love him. They don’t care. They don’t care.

They stayed like that for awhile until Richie had tired himself out with his tears, and Stan pulled away, telling them he was gonna find the others and bring them back to the clubhouse, leaving Richie and Eddie alone.

Eddie sat up, before noticing a weird stain on his shirt, his eyes widening as he realized it was blood. “Richie, are you bleeding?!” He asked, concern prevalent in his voice.

Richi looked down at his shoulder before nodding, peeling off his Hawaiian shirt and tossing it aside, showing the puncture he had gotten in his shoulder from the pipe in the sewer, still raw and bloody. Eddie gagged slightly before taking Richie’s discarded shirt, pressing it against the wound to slow the bleeding. “Jesus fucking Christ, Richie, why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how long we were down in the sewers for? Your shoulder is probably fucking infected, it shouldn’t even still be bleeding, Jesus. Do you even know your fucking blood type? I doubt you do you fuckin--”

“Can I kiss you?”

Richie’s mouth moved before his brain did, but he couldn’t help it. He loves Eddie. He’s loved him since the day they first met. He loves every inch of him, his feral nature, his mile-a-minute-mouth, his cute face, his fucking bambi eyes, his laugh, the way he scrunches up his nose and his eyebrows come together when he’s truly had too much of Richie’s bullshit.

Kinda like now.

Eddie’s face scrunched up, like he had just bit into a sour straw. Eddie hates sour straws. His nose scrunches up and his eyes crinkle before he finally meets Richie's eyes. “That’s not fucking funny, dickwad.” He said, his voice low and hurt. Richie’s face matched Eddie’s at the mere suggestion that he was joking about this. “I’m not kidding, Eds.”

Eddie’s lip twitched. “Don’t call me Eds.”

Richie frowned, pulling back from Eddie to look at him. “I-I’m serious, Eds. I like you. Like...a lot. Like how much Ben likes Bev. I know you probably don’t like me back like that, but I want you to know. To hear it from me. It might be kinda selfish of me, but I really wanna---”

The thing is, Richie’s kissed before. He kissed Beverly as a joke, and kissed Bill and Mike on a dare. He’s kissed his parents goodbye and goodnight, given sloppy wet cheek kisses to every member of the Losers…

_He’s just never been kissed like this before_

Eddie’s lips were soft (“It’s called prescription chapstick, and it’s so I don’t look like a fucking crackhead, Richie!) and the kiss was quick. Just a chaste press on his lips that was over way too soon for his liking.

And yet it was everything he’s ever imagined and more.

Richie opened his mouth to say something before the entrance of the clubhouse swung open again, the two of them jumping as the remainder of the Losers rushing down to crowd around Richie and coddle over him. It was actually really nice.

Richie cried some more. They all did. The nightmare was over, It was dead, and they were all okay. They all held Richie, holding hands as they told him they’d love him, no matter who he loved.

It took them awhile, but finally Eddie’s badgering was enough to get them up all off the floor and out of the clubhouse. They decided to go to Stan’s house. His parents were off visiting his aunt, and the Loser’s didn’t want to leave each other's sides.

Stan’s house was quaint and cozy, which was perfect for them. They all took turns showering, Stan providing clothes (either his or his parents) for the Losers to change into. Richie and Stan went first to shower, so they could get their wounds cleaned by Eddie. They both watched amused as Eddie fret over their perspective wounds before finally being satisfied with his own work, Stan’s face wrapped in gauze, Richie’s shoulder wrapped with the same material. Eddie and Beverly went next, not being able to stand how filthy they felt. Then, Bill, Mike, and Ben went. When they were all finished and dressed, Bill and Mike began pulling the mattresses off Stan and his parents beds, placing them side by side as Stan grabbed every spare pillow and blanket he had in his house. Stan’s parents had left him money for pizza, so Mike called in and placed an order for the seven of them. It would use up all the money Stan’s parents had left him for the weekend, but he didn’t really care.

Stan decided to put in a movie, and they all sat together watching Snow White until the pizza came. They all ate their fill before deciding to sleep, despite it only being eight o’ clock.

Bill triple checked every lock in the house, only coming back to the living room once he was sure everything was secure. Beverly asked if they could keep the lights on, and no one argued. They all laid down next to each other, Bill and Mike sleeping on one mattress, Beverly and Ben on another. Stan, Eddie, and Richie took up the last mattress, Richie laying safe and sound in between his best friends.

Across the town, Henry Bowers was being arrested for the murder of his father. Across town, Beverly’s father was lying in the emergency room, a head full of stitches. Sonia Kaspbrak was pacing with worry, wailing to her sister about Eddie’s outburst, and how he hadn’t come home yet. Maggie and Wentworth Tozier sat at the dining table, eating in silence as they wondered where their son had wandered off too.

Across town, Mike’s grandfather read the note Mike had left him about sleeping at his friends house. Bill’s parents got ready for bed together, feeling a slight wave of peace washing over them, completely unaware that their youngest son’s soul was finally put to rest. Across town, Ben’s mother worked another late shift at the hospital, attending to a young boy that reminded her faintly of her son. Across the state, Stan’s parents slept soundly in each other’s embrace.

Every parent was completely oblivious of the horror’s their children had just gone through.

The losers knew that they had a lot of explaining to do. A lot of lying to do. Richie knew that he and Eddie would have to talk soon. But for now…

Now they were happy to fall asleep in each others arms, feeling truly safe for the first time in months.

**Author's Note:**

> Would you kindly leave a like and a review? :)
> 
> If you're feeling extra generous:  
> Ko-fi.com/archer12


End file.
